justrun-.

can't deny it can't pretend

wish that i could cry ;
fall upon my knees

i guess i don't really update this thing of mine a lot huh. just that sometimes, the things you feel .. really can't be typed out or said or expressed in any other form. so much so that you just keep it in.

busy week ahead (like any other week). if every single week is a busy week, does that make a busy week, not busy anymore? :/ philophilo.

sports fest heats coming uppp. 3000m this week. i can't believe they're making us report at 1545hrs. like school ends at 1500hrs x.x that gives me.. exactly 45mins to go home, shower, get to rj's specs stand and feel refreshed. rushh. math test on thurs as well... past few tests haven't been a good experience at all. to get a horrid mark is one thing, to get a horrid mark just knowing you could've done better, is a completely different thing. who can i blame? but myself.

sports fest heats also means richard tnf comm has lotsa stuff to do. i say sorry, sorry for assuming the seniors would know what the job required. sorry for actually agreeing to initiate things and get things going, knowing i'd be alone on it. sorry for attending meetings i knew you wouldn't come for, for being selfish and dumb and staying up till the wee hours of the morning to complete submissions that nobody else seemed to really care about. sorry for spending recesses, lunches, before schools and after schools, begging people to sign up on the list, when all you could say was "i couldn't get anyone". i really don't know whether to feel guilty, angry, apologetic or irresponsible. maybe i shouldn't feel at all.

i guess that's really the big big problem with idiots like me, i feel so much. so much that i don't feel anything anymore. just this..really really numb sensation, wishing you could once again be able to cry tears of pain to relieve it all. or just smile in satisfaction, knowing you did your best. but no, somehow i am made to stare blankly into space and get all confused.

school today was quite okay. i really like math lessons. cos of the math tcher. klui is the bestest math teacher everrr. he is soo amusing. anw, i came up with a nice funny joke during math. told it to joo, then joo asked me to tell aich. but you know, lessons, can't just turn around and tell someone something. so i wrote on a piece of paper. it read:
pat's joke of the day
what do you call a female cow?
(answer on the reverse side)
after strategic planning, i turned around just as klui glanced away, and placed this small white piece of paper infront of aich. quite a few seconds later, i heard "oh mannn , pat that was funny". about a minute later, i heard zhen (who sits on the opposite aisle) say, "pat. very funny". 5 minutes later, as i was writing the answer to qtn 2 on the board (as klui had requested), i heard meiyi and mavis (who sit at the other end of the class) chuckling away, "pat that was funny". just about 2 minutes after that, a certain kellynkhor and eileen moan "oh man, pattt. tell mrlui".

i couldn't help but chuckle my way through the math sum i was writing on the board. was wondering how on earth the whole class had gotten to know of my joke in..such a short period of time. apparently, just apparently, the note was passed around the class -.----"

just for the record, the reverse side of the paper said:
MISTAKE !
(miss steak)

and so, the suggestion of "corn's corny corner" came about. and that i should put up a joke a day (: for stressed out people to read and laugh at. how fun, i really think it's cool. just not sure if my jokes are going to make people laugh, hah, esp since my success rate (as measured by joo during obs) is 4 out of 500 ...

i love 310 (: like, alot?

mmm, memories are fading. and i feel guilty. it's yet another 9 months without shuaige. the words on my slipper are fading. wonder how her slipper is? don't worry, you're always on my mind.whether it's in the bus (when guan huai fang shi played), on the road (when we were driving along the road we did our night run on), at the acjc pool (when i realise that i'm not getting splashed by a ji1rou4jie1shi3 person, and jiaolian isn't laughing). and everywhere else.

isn't it weird. it's the year 2005.
yes, apparently it still hasn't sunk in.

i feel awfully fat.

hope that was a long enough entry to last till the next time i manage to get the time to blog.

richardsonians! all the best for your events. remember, the strongest and brightest flames are always blueee.
someone! who tagged my board. thanks. will try. tell me who you are or something. i get very curious when anonymous people tag my board. hahh.

so much for shoutouts, i realise that nobody comes here o.O no point going on.

[pat]* decided to runaway-.

put on her shoes at [15:58]

and took [20050301] strides

it's the passion that drives you